23 December 2010


ahhh! 136 - fuck, I blame oj

I can feel a cold coming on and I think I've consumed 3 gallons of orange juice in the last two days. My formula for fighting off a cold fast is ridiculous amounts of oj, tons of water, at least 2 scalding hot showers/baths a day and yoga (mostly child's pose, reduces congestion, and corpse pose for relaxation). It almost always works for me & I'll only suffer from cold symptoms for 4 days. Which means Sunday I should be feeling back to normal....or I'm going to be pissed my free week of vacation (since the office is closed, but I still get paid, yay!) will be wasted feeling like shit.

I had the tattoo done before I moved out of the 'marital home', so late September I think? maybe October. I love it and am so happy I finally took a picture to show all of you.

Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas! or a Happy Hanukkah! or a Happy Kwanzaa! or a Merry Solstice! or whatever it is you may celebrate this time of year!

21 December 2010


finally...a photo

Merry Christmas!!

15 December 2010


This is me, drunk at a bar, with a wonderful friend, where I saw someone who looked so much like the lovely zette it took everything in me not to run up and talk to her like she was an old friend.

Little backstory on my friend in the pic, we lost touch for a few years and I never really understood why and as much as I missed her I'm not one to force friendships, so I left her alone. As soon as she heard I left my husband she called me. Turns out he was hitting on her every chance he had and she didn't want to say anything & feel like a homewrecker so she just stayed away. She said if we didn't have a son together she would have told me what a sleezeball he was the moment it happened, but she just couldn't bring herself to (what she felt would) be responsible for breaking up our family. I get it, I certainly wish I had known sooner that he was hitting on my friends (a few more came out to me about it recently as well), but who cares - it's in the past and I'm just happy to have my friend back!

14 December 2010


Yes, the previous post was a positive reaction to the # on the scale - I was just in shock & still am because it's the Holiday season and I'm not tipping the scale over 140. Crazy good.

tracy! That quote from the C word is my favorite thing ever!! & I definitely feel like I'm getting my weird back :)

Not much to say, kind of busy at work organizing things for the end of the year and my departure! but I just have to share a picture from my weekend with the teacher since I can't post it on facebook (you know, with all the inlaws & mutual friends the ex & I share, it's a little too soon...)

10 December 2010


Holy fucking shit


holy shit

...I have no words

09 December 2010


I weighed in fully dressed - boots, pea coat, everything...134


My ex and I are currently sharing custody of our son, kind of a 50/50 setup, which means I have him for 3(or4) days and then I'm 'off' for 3(or4) days a week. & let me just say not only is this is doing wonders for my waistline, since I only eat what my son eats when we're together and then I barely eat when he is away, but it also allows me some free time.

This past weekend I was able to go to the mountains with the teacher - it was beautiful, it snowed, we drank, had a snowball fight, laughed and (of course) rolled around in the sheets. I realize I'm on the rebound, but this guy is pretty amazing. I'm happy he came into my life because no matter how short or 'relationship' is, at least now I know how a man should treat me.

Ooooh & I return to school soon! I start taking courses in January - Calculus & Physics (because I have to meet some general education requirements) and then in the fall I'll start my masters in Chemistry. Holy shit, I can't believe I'm going back to school - now all I want to do is go buy a backpack & some pencils!

03 December 2010


did I mention how much I love coffee? yay for 134!

A little update on all the things going on in my life outside of the teacher & food...

I have a meeting with an academic advisor next Thursday to start planning my return to college! I originally earned a degree in Sociology, so it should only take 2 years to earn a second degree. Right now I'm still thinking about going back for Nursing, but I'm starting to lean towards getting a Masters in Chemistry instead (that's the reason for the advisor meeting, to see if I am eligible to apply to the program). I've always loved Chemistry so I'm going to try to set up a few interviews or shadowing days where I can see what a chemist does on a daily basis. Who knew at 27 I'd still have no clue what I want to be when I grow up?

Also, I'm starting to pick up some part time jobs to help save some extra $ and to have them lined up for when my day job goes out of business or when I start school; whichever comes first. Last night was my first bartending shift in 5 years, it was awkward, but fun. The change of setting was really nice.

I love that right now I have so many things to look forward to and be hopeful about, like school, new jobs, weekends away, great sex, the scale dipping below 130...

02 December 2010


Let's see...

Monday: restrict, yay!
Tuesday: b/p, boo
Wednesday: coffee, yay!
Thursday: more coffee, yay!
Friday: alcohol+food, boo
Saturday: skip full meals with the excuse of hangover/unruly stomach, yay!
Sunday: coffee, yay!

5 out of 7? not bad...well hopefully I will follow through with the weekend.

Scale is still at 135 - I'll take it and fuck if I'm letting it go back up to 140 again. I reevaluated the weekend and aside from the terrifying fact that I have to wear a bathing suit this weekend there are ways around the other negatives.

Although they came up with a menu and have the meals planned for everyone it just dawned on me that just because they are serving 17 items for dinner doesn't mean I have to eat all 17 (yes, I'm a little slow...what? the panic set in, I couldn't think clearly...) I'm hoping they just assume I'm a picky eater when all I put on my plate are veggies & fruit & I picked up a ton of coke zero & captain for the weekend, no beer for me because as much as I love it the (60 additional calories per drink)+ (bloating factor) = not worth it.

Also, teacher (I kind of feel like a creeper calling him that, but I always had a thing for my hot male teachers growing up, so it's also kind of fun...) promised we'd go hiking, & I looked up the trail to the pond/lake and it's 2+ miles away from the house. And since I do love a good trail run, I am going to pack my running shoes/clothes, but there is no guarantee on it actually happening because sometimes I'm huge ol' pansy when it's cold outside. I figure at least I'll get in a little hike for exercise but, I'm really hoping I'll want to appear all badass in front of everyone and that will be enough motivation to get out in the cold and run.

*can you tell I've had too much coffee??

01 December 2010


If only I could get away with wearing a full body suit - or my wet suit...

The part that really sucks about feeling like the fat girl, but not actually being the fat girl is that everyone comments and thinks it's strange if the thin girl wears a tshirt. No one ever comments on the whale in the tshirt - ever, but I guess that's how I know I'm not actually grotesque in a swim suit, I only feel that I am.

So, last night I stood in front of the mirror in my bathing suit for an hour and I tried to find myself less disgusting in it...

it didn't work.

Also, I just received an email of the menu for the weekend - holy fatty foods batman! - Wonder what teacher will think if I decide to go vegan again, especially if the vegan kick only lasts the weekend...