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Oooh & to add to the fun, my ex just started dragging me through court, he is trying to get full custody of our son. For those of you who have followed me for a while know he suffers from bipolar disorder, which is still being poorly treated. He has several DUIs on record, severe anxiety problems with several attacks that left him hospitalized and the house he lives in is filled with holes he's punched in the walls & doors. I don't think he'll be awarded custody, but it's so frustrating having to deal with it and I still kill myself with worry over the 'what ifs'

I spent all of last night curled up in a ball crying and drinking whiskey. I feel like my life may always be filled with so much baggage that no man will want to take it all on. The idea of spending my life alone honestly terrifies me, but I'm trying to remain positive and am so proud of myself for not letting all of this set off a binge-purge episode. I have been doing so well keeping the bulimia at bay and I refuse to allow it to creep back in.

This morning I sucked it up and reminded myself that my life can be better, but only if I'm better.

I pulled myself out of bed & met a friend for coffee
I loaded up my fridge with fruits, veggies & kombucha
I went for a run & did a little yoga

Hoping I can hold on to the healthy outlook throughout all of this drama, but I find myself already wishing I had teacher's shoulder to cry on & that only makes me want to cry harder...