18 January 2011

136

+ I'm making time for working out

- I'm still purging

I purged four times yesterday, & I'm already planning my lunch in terms of purging...

If I've quit purging for six months or so at a time in the past, but I seem to keep picking it up again, do any of you think I should seek the assistance of a counselor or a therapist to help me or should I just refocus my shit like before? I know it's really all up to me to change, I just wonder if a professional would be better suited at helping to make a permanent change in my habits. I don't know.

..well fuck, I think this is the first time since I was 17 that I've entertained the idea of seeking treatment...

8 comments:

Fed Up said...

Treatment couldn't hurt. It's great that you can sort of do it on your own...even though it's only for a time period.

Elara said...

What is it that disrupts your period of recovery? Can you identify your trigger(s)? I was able to stop purging on my own, it's certainly possible though obviously I haven't lost the eating disorder entirely. Start screening therapists right now if that's what you want. It can't hurt. Find one to help reduce the craving instead of those who threaten you with the hospital every time you confess a slip up.

Gina said...

How tired are you?

Teresauras said...

I went to a pro. Everlasting change. What you put in is what you get out. It helps as long as you keep it up. It even gets fun.

Gem!! said...

I used to plan my lunches and dinners around what was easiest to purge. I eventually grew tired of it and found other things to occupy myself.

Sometimes, just someone to talk to face to face about these problems helps - even if they offer no solution. Being completely honest with someone when you're infront of them is such a relief.

Good luck love

xx

Anonymous said...

I know I'm posting anonymously, but I promise I'm not a troll. I've been reading your blog for a long time. Congrats of the divorce, btw. Some of our behaviors (or afflictions) are mutual. 29yoSWF here. I think that if you have insurance and can afford it, you should consult a pro. The worst that could happen is that you wouldn't like it and quit therapy. Purging sucks...it's no way to live, as I'm sure you know. It will also keep you socially isolated to some extent, and it will make it very difficult (if not impossible) to cultivate a meaningful relationship with a man who could give you the love you need and deserve. If you ever get close to a guy who cares about you, you won't be able to keep the purging a secret forever (another reason why anas/mias/ed people are usually so secretive and lonely). Also, as we all know, it's very hard on your teeth and GI tract (and dignity)...not to mention your wallet. And if you abuse laxatives, there will eventually be awful consequences. In sum: purging, especially if you do it routinely, will prevent you from acquiring the things you need to lead a fulfilled life. That is what I believe, personally. A therapist could really help you, even if it's just in harm reduction. You have nothing to lose! Go for it. xoxo a reader P.S. I hope you're not offended by anything I said...I wish you all the best.

♥ Bree said...

I used to have a blog awhile ago but now I am on a journey to recovery, to better eating habits so I have created a new blog!! I chose to follow people who have distorted eating as I feel they understand what I am going through a lot better =) I would be great if we could support each other =)

“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”

♥ Bree

Maria said...

I think you need to keep a private daily inventory . DO NOT stop blogging , I would be crushed . But , this has become a self destructive pattern that I have noticed with you as well as in myself . A new therapist might do some good , but a little self evaluation can go a long way in changing the most destructive habits .
It is a coping mechanism relating to your new shift in life .