05 April 2013


I'm huge.

In reality, I'm average.

I am not okay with being average.


I'm not coping well...not with the divorce, not with being a single mom, not with being a student, not with being poor [again], or finding my 'new' way.

My life feels awful.

Teacher moved away & I started dating another man, we'll call him Ogre. My Ogre was amazing - for 6 months he was amazing - he kept up his perfect front, but then...oh, but then, did crazy came out. My heart was broken and I felt lost again.


Binging & purging is at an all time high for me; which explains the huge because no bulimic actually gets to be thin, we only pretend for a minute that we aren't as fat as we really are. [if only I could find a way back to EDNOS, bulimia with bouts of anorexia, maybe then I could find real results in weight loss]


tracy said...

Oh, Kelly, i'm soooooo glad you came back, i have missed you so much!

i'm so sorry you have had an awful time of it..."The Orgre" sounds juat awful...we all know you deserve so much better....someone lovely like you!

i have GAINED almost 20 pounds this past year and am HUGE, it sucks, it has been an awful year here too.

Please stick around....we can do this!

And please try to stop hurting your self....i care about you.

~Nessa~ said...

I haven't been through what you're going through but I care nonetheless. Tale care of yourself. Find something to keep you sane and do it.