27 January 2011

140

I haven't purged in 7 days. Mostly because my throat couldn't take anymore and I've made it a point to eat only insanely spicy foods this past week to discourage any purging.

I told a friend about my eating disorder. His reaction was the best I've ever received. He didn't judge or ask why, only asked what he could do to help me.

I have an appointment with a clinic in town in February, my friend will attend with me if I decide to actually go.

Teacher and I are still doing well, we took a dance lesson last night and learned how to swing - very fun! He is wonderful, but I think he is part of the reason I started purging again. I don't feel I'm good enough for him - I know it's all in my head, but inadequacy is a hard feeling to shake.

2 comments:

zette said...

i haven't purged in 22 hours. not quite as impressive. good job taking care of your throat. please remember what a fantastic creature you are. i know feeling adequate is easier said than done, but i hope you feel that soon. you're crazy amazing. stay strong, little lady. i'm glad your friend is such a sweetie for you.
xoxo
zette

zen said...

Glad you hadn't purged in 7 days, I really hope all is still going smoothly.
It has been 5 day's since your last post... get your ass back here and update please.

I am so glad you are happy!!! Relationships make us bonkers because we are all a bit insecure.

Do NOT fuck your teeth up by purging. Spend some time perusing the web reading about and looking at pictures of the damage bulimia does. Remind yourself of the logic behind WHY you do not want to do it.
It is definitely not sexy.

Now it is time for me to catch up on all your old posts!
xoxo
zen