28 September 2010


He swears he can change.

Why is part of me stupid enough to want to believe him?


MaryJane said...

Because you've devoted a good part of your life to him, gave every part of yourself to him. He can't change. They never do. It's just words. Just now is the realization setting in for him. If you go back, it'll be good for a couple days, maybe a week. And then it will be the same abusive shit all over again.

Been there, done that. I left and I'm happier now. You'll be happier, too.

It sucks that it has to come to this, you leaving. But that's his fault. He cut and cut and cut until he gouged a gaping wound.

You're so strong. You've already made the commitment to free yourself; follow through. You owe it to yourself.

<3333333333333333333333333 I believe in you.

kazehana said...

Talk is cheap? Idk. I'm not the type to cheer for anyone's marriage to be over, or for anyone to have to walk out of their home. But...if he psychologically abusive and you feel like he emotionally beats you down, do the words "I can change," have as much weight as your desire not to be subjected to anymore mind games?

lovelybones said...

Because for the last while, when you think of yourself, you most likely think of him too. He was part of your identity and you might not know yourself without him. Just a guess, but you can do this without him. Find yourself, its more important than whatever he can offer yoou (which doesnt sound like a whole lot). You deserve much, much more. You've gone so far, don't back down now. Or, if you do, when you realize he hasn't changed, don't be afraid to try and leave again. You'll get what you need eventually, whether he gives it to you by possibly changing, or its you realizing you dont need him.

Anonymous said...

Oh, he might be able to change for a week a month or even 4 months but eventually the same old crap will come out. For the most part the core of people-who they are-can't be changed. You already know the dynamic you two have. it's not good. I am not pro divorce but I am pro happy. You only get one life and if you are living it with the wrong person its time to move on.

zen said...

Has he promised this before? Has your relationship come to this breaking point before?

If not, maybe he realizes he "needs" to change. That would take LOTS of work for anyone. And there is still no guarantee.

If so, then fuck him. Promises once broken should not be given second chances. Empty words.

xoxo zen

Anonymous said...

unless diamonds and begging are involved, don't, you're too good for his hollow promises. xx

Ana said...

:( You're not stupid. You have a lot of reasons to want to be with him, but do what's right for you in the long run, hun. People don't change.


your son is more important. you dont want him to grow up around such influences. i cant judge him because i dont know him, only you do. and nomatter what we say, it will all be down to you to make the final decision. all my love. :)xxxxx

Kitty said...

what he means is, he swears he can change YOU.

he won't change. i am 36 years old and wasted the last eight years with someone wrong for me, and you remind me, of me.

if he cared about you and wanted things to be different, he would have made changes before you left.

men hate being alone, they like to have a woman to take care of them, any woman.

the email he wrote you was nasty and hateful.

he's full of shit and i think you know it.

Almost.Skinny said...

You have a lot of history with him, you have a child with him, there will be some part of you that wants to believe you can live happily ever after as a family, it's not stupid, it's natural.
However there's a good chance he's talking crap because he's scared of the change- you have to decided if he's worth a second chance. But only a second chance, but absolutely no thirds- you deserve to be happy. You deserve someone who treats you like a princess and wakes up every day and thinks how can I make her life better today- what could I do to put a smile on her face and make her feel special.
I vote you make yourself feel special and get a beautiful peacock feather tattoo in colour and nice little apartment full of positivity but only you know what will make you truly happy.
All the best xxx

Anonymous said...

Because you have a fucking heart and he knows it!

Don't fall for his bull shit, please. Go go go go while you can.